This woman complained of a sudden change in behavior of her husband and when it was inquired upon, the husband disclosed that
“My wife was charming before I married her. Her code of dressing made me to fall in love with her and I desired her more to be my life partner but surprisingly, after giving birth to our first child, she dresses and appears shabby”.
Where are our women? The above words came from a grieving or helpless man. He desired his wife to ever remain the queen of his life. Dear Mrs., it is not over ‘until death do you part’. O yes, you appeared gorgeous when the young man fell in love with you. He desired your beauty, your neatness, your awesomeness, until now. Why the change? Were you assuming another self? I mean, were you pretending? Or were you deceptive?
Don’t push me to considering, this saying that “as a single lady, she dresses nice to attract her desired husband but as soon as she gets one, the Mgbeke in her would surface” as current societal norm. Now that you have gotten that love of your life, remember that it does not end at that. You ought to keep spicing your marriage with those charming outfits (spaghetti tops, etc). You need also to keep your fitness on check. It implies that after childbirth you need to work on your body weight especially your tummy. Just as you kept to neatness to get his attention to your beauty and yourself, keep on never relent. Do not forget to wear that nice fragrance perfume that made him smile at your presence before your marriage with him. Mind you, he wants you to look at him again and tell him how handsome he is. Surprise him with your charming looks.
I frown at those women who tie wrapper around their waists to welcome their husbands from work. Imagine a man coming back from work after the stress of the day, and expects to go back home to experience a relief from the stress of the day’s work from his wife but arriving at his home to found his house unkept and a wife who came out to welcome him in a tattered clothes.
Habba! Adjust nah!
On the side of the young men, why have you chosen to keep dirty beers knowing that your spouse doesn’t like it and you expect her to clap for you? Why have you chosen to borrow those bad characters that irritate your wife? What about those sweet names you do call her? Why go so dry at this early stage in your marriage? Think of the days when you expected everyday to be weekend so that she will visit with you. Now, you stay out late just to avoid her? You took her out, bought goodies for her on daily bases. Mother of your children should be celebrated the more. Buy her gifts as usual, no matter how small the gift is. Those things are not out of place until you’re no more; they are healing ministries in your marriage. Is never a waste of time or energy? It’s therapeutic. You both should labour to spice your union. It’s never one sided. No one has the sole function of spicing up the other with gifts (both of you have this function to carry out from time to time). You ought to complement each other. Don’t keep expecting from the other! Lead the way! It works like magic!
I wonder why a lady would appear an angel to the entire family of the guy she is dating. What happened after she finally had gone to the altar with the same man to exchanges vows of marriage union is a story for the next episode. More often, the husband’s mother becomes a witch, Amusu. While the husband’s sibling’s turn out lepers colony that she wouldn’t want to associate herself with them to avoid being infected. She fights her husband for mentioning his family members’ names. Have you thought of how miserable you would be when the fire you’re fanning would be too big for you to quench.
BE CAREFUL!
The beauty of marriage is seen when you are in love with your husband’s parents and the siblings. If you succeed in winning the hearts of your husband’s people, my dear you have everything you needed in your marriage. Your husband will cherish you beyond your imagination. When he toys with you he awakes the anger of the siblings.
DO NOT RELENT IN SPICING YOUR MARRIAGE! DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHEN IT CONCERNS THE PEACE OF YOUR HOME!
Try it!
Sr. Maryann Chioma Okpala
(Ugonnaya)
